Prayer

This week we have been reading about Enos and the story of him going out to hunt. I love this story. I haven't always had a testimony of prayer. I actually struggled a lot for a long time. I was embarrassed to give a prayer in public thinking I would somehow mess it up. After getting married Aaron and I would fight about praying. I never wanted to say the prayer when we knelt down together at the end of the day. He just couldn't understand why and would get frustrated. I guess the problem was a mixture of a lot of different things. I didn't feel worthy to pray. I didn't really know how or why really. I just wasn't sure if Heavenly Father was interested in me.

Then one day we needed to renew our temple recommends. We had met with our bishop and were on our way to see the stake president. It was my turn and he went through the usual questions. Finally he got to the end and paused. He then said "We have a list of specific questions we ask during these interviews and have been instructed to not stray from them. However, I feel prompted to ask you one more question. Megan, do you feel like your Father in Heaven answers your prayers?" I was shocked. How could he have known I was struggling? I went home and then it hit me. That was my answer. That was my Father in Heaven telling me he was there. He was waiting for me to go to Him. He does in fact care about me and I need to pray.

I now have a testimony of prayer. That is my "call home". Just like I call my parents for everything; advice, help with something, just to talk or discuss how crazy the kids were that day He is there for the same thing.

2Nephi 28:19-22

This week for my pathway class I have been reading in 2Nephi. More specifically I really like chapter 28. Its talking about the different things Satan will do to pull us away. I really thought about how one of the things he is doing is stirring up hatred among each other. He wants to see us criticize each other, see only the flaws, and just simply be mean to one another. Its clear looking around that Satan is doing a really good job too. We are constantly looking to bring each other down so that we can look just a little bit better. I know I find myself doing this as well. Its something I am working on. I decided to study this particular chapter in my study guide and I loved how it said "We have...had very specific warnings regarding Satan's power, influence, and determination...I believe the time is now. And I believe the target is you. For the most part, Satan has made great strides in establishing and selling his value system, which is based upon the son of man, not the Son of God...His is a value system based upon selfishness, self-indulgence, and immediate gratification"
This chapter was such a good reminder of all the ways Satan is working against us. Sometimes its easier to fall into those traps, but knowing what he is doing makes it easier to see and be prepared that we may strengthen ourselves against him.

I started school this month and its been a crazy ride. I had been having strong feelings for months now that this was something I needed to do. I tried to fight it. I kept thinking there was no way I was going to be able to go back. Not with Lucy at home and Noah half day kindergarten and the million other things going on in my life. But this feeling was persistent and so I mentioned it to Aaron and before I knew it I was signed up and found myself at my first gathering class.

Since then its been an emotional whirlwind. I honestly have never felt so close to my Savior. Its still hard and its still really scary and I am finding myself struggling to write full sentences, but I know that if I put forth the effort He will make up the rest.

This week we have been studying 1 Nephi 1-5 and it was crazy how applicable these scriptures were to exactly what I was going through.

!Nephi 4:6-7 "And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do... Nevertheless I went forth.". I didn't even realize at the time how much I exercising faith. It was scary and its been hard, but I knew it was something I needed to do and so I did it. I have also recognized that because of the faith I had I have really been blessed. I have really seen so many tender mercies happen since starting school just like it stats in 1Nephi1:20 "...But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance."

I know that I will learn and grow so much throughout this experience. It will still be hard and I know at times I will struggle, but I know if I seek Him in prayer I cannot fail.

I love the quote by Russell M Nelson "I have learned not to put question marks but to use exclamation points when calls are issued through inspired channels of the priesthood"

I CAN do this!!

"Regardless of our age and stage in life, daily obedience to gospel principles is the only sure way to eternal happiness. When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes our quest, in that moment God will endow us with power."

After seeing how much have grown and the blessing I have received just in the past few weeks I now think of all the many times I didn't follow a prompting or talked myself out of something I knew I should have done. How much have I missed out on before? I now have a better knowledge of the power of faith. I have made it a goal to listen more to the promptings of the Spirit.

Elder John H Groberg of the seventy said "The scriptures tell us in 1Nephi 4:6 that we went forth not knowing beforehand what he should do but knowing he should obey God and get the plates...I suspect had he listened only to reason, Nephi and his brethren would still be waiting outside the walls of Jerusalem. I sometimes wonder if by our listening to reason and logic too much, and not trusting God enough, we may find ourselves waiting outside the walls of His holy city."